Best Laid Plans
It’s time. Defend Mor Island with your rag-tag crew of Abel folk and Far Hebrideans Cast * Janine De Luca * Tom De Luca * Duncan Macallan * Jody Marsh * Paula Cohen * Sam Yao * Morag Brown * Shona * Jones Plot Start Playing The horde approaches Mor, and Janine’s defence plan springs into action. Things immediately take a turn for the worse when the attack is not as predicted; the horde doesn’t just appear on the beach, but from all angles, seemingly slipping past Janine’s spotters on the other beaches. Janine signals a retreat from the beach and call for the noisemaker band to begin playing. Truncheons Out The band begin playing, but see no zoms. Paula radios with a warning; there’s a huge horde of zoms near the town hall, and she has no idea how they got there. Chief Macallan remembers the caves, which are guarded, but realises the blowholes are not - and there’s a large one in the museum in town. Zoms have never come in that way before, but it’s the only unguarded entrance onto the island. Janine commands a fallback plan: to fight the zombies in the town square. Boiled Sweets You arrive in the town square. Zombies are coming from two directions: the beach north and the museum to the east. Your forces on the beach are routed. Janine commands the defence, but you are alerted to a situation at the harbour: Morag and a dozen children are cornered by zombies. You, Janine and the Chief run to save them. Gas Cookers At the jetty, you spring into action to defend the children. Although you save them, reports from town continue to worsen. With every zombie on the island converging on the town, Janine announces a final gambit: turn on every gadget in town that makes noise, and every gas cooker. Fire Brigade The horde converge on the town, drawn in by the noises. Janine hands Jody the material to make a flaming arrow. The resultant explosion obliterates the zombie horde, along with all the houses on the street. The zombies dealt with, it’s time to put out the fire. Old Hangout A bucket chain from the harbour and the fire hose brings the fire under control, but Janine is heavily affected by the day’s actions. Paula radios through to alert you to a situation at the Laird’s house: a radio in the basement has begun receiving a looped message from Jones, which asks Shona to meet him at an old childhood hideout of theirs. You and Sam accompany her and head off to confront Jones. What’s Really Happening Arriving at the cave, Shona tells you of her history with Jones. The man himself appears to correct her perception of events, bidding you stay and hear his side of the story from the end of a loaded rifle. S08E14 // Rofflenet Discussion regarding this mission can be found on Rofflenet Transcript SAM YAO: Janine, we are going to be okay, aren’t we? I mean, I only ask because well, there’s a massive horde of zombies about to hit the island, Paula’s evacuating the town, and Jody’s defending the beach the horde is lurching over, and our plan is to lure the zombies across the island and McShell them over a cliff. JANINE DE LUCA: Admittedly, Mr. Yao, it may be among our riskier gambits. SAM YAO: Weirdly, I like it when you say stuff like that. It reminds me of the start. You in command, us against a giant horde of regular non-V-type zombies. Like the good old days. Which were terrifying. TOM DE LUCA: All right. Shona and I will get the backup McShell volunteers in position. Janie, make sure we’re not needed. SHONA: Everybody form up. Clarissa, stop staring at Mr. De Luca’s shoulders and concentrate! JODY MARSH: Janine, it’s Jody here. Are you receiving? There’s something wrong on this beach. Big horde’s hitting us from the sea all right, but there are zoms approaching from multiple angles, some from inland. JANINE DE LUCA: Impossible! Our patrols swept the island clear. I put spotters on the other beaches to warn if more zombies came from any other direction. One must have missed something. JODY MARSH: A group have come in right behind us. We’re shooting arrows at them, but - Oh no! No! Oh no! Albert the caber guy, he’s whirling that log around, knocking them back, but four zoms have pulled him down! He’s bitten. Janine, we can’t hold it here. JANINE DE LUCA: Understood, Miss Marsh. Your people have done their part. Have them retreat to safety. Five, we must begin the plan now. We will return to the wind farm to ready the McShell. Mr. Yao, tell the chief’s musicians to start playing now. We must draw the zoms away from the beach. Our strategy is unchanged, Five. With me! Run! from various instruments including bagpipes DUNCAN MACALLAN: Colonel, we’re playing hard as we can. Haven’t seen any zoms yet, but they can’t be far behind you. PAULA COHEN: Janine, it’s Paula. We have a serious problem! I don’t know how, but there are zombies in the town. A huge group was spotted near the town hall. We’re still getting people out. SAM YAO: Confirmed. I see them on cams. God, it’s like they came out of nowhere. They’re definitely waterlogged zoms, though. Some are still covered in seaweed. JANINE DE LUCA: Chief Macallan, this is not a few zombies out of position. Spotters would certainly have seen a significant horde coming from any other direction. Think. How have these zombies reached the center of town? Is there any way in? DUNCAN MACALLAN: Well, there’s the caves. You know about them. They’re a honeycomb under the whole island. Entrances all over, including the town, but we keep a guard on all the caves that come in from the sea. Unless it’s a cave entrance on the sea floor that leads to a blow hole. But we’ve never had zoms come in that way, not in all this time! JANINE DE LUCA: It’s possible that when Mr. Jones blew up his own munitions, he created new openings in the cave system. And you’ve never had a horde as hungry as this. DUNCAN MACALLAN: Most of those blow holes are sealed. We built a museum around the deepest one in town. Used to be part of the king of the rocks ritual. SAM YAO: Yep, I can see it. Zoms are streaming out of the local museum. They’ve broken through windows. Their teeth are clacking together. They’re… they’re really fast! Oh God, this is bad. JANINE DE LUCA: Five, our plan is no longer tenable. If we leave the town undefended, there will be a massacre. Miss Marsh, Tom, fallback plan C. Combat. Reroute your forces to the town. We will mount a defense in the main square. Five, you have an extendable spade in your pack. I had hoped we would get by without our fallback weapons. Chief, retreat the choir and rally your deputies. Truncheons out. We’re going straight to town. Run! JANINE DE LUCA: Over there, Five, in the town square. I see Dr. Cohen with a group of locals. Doctor! Sitrep, if you please! PAULA COHEN: Janine, zombies are swarming in from two directions. The beach north, and the museum on the east of town. The firemen are using their engine’s hose to push zoms back. The rest of us are beating them away with hammers and rakes. We’ve got about 40 people left here. I’m getting them ready to fall back to the manor. We’re missing a group of kids from the harbor. They – they ran out of boats down there. Morag went to find them. JANINE DE LUCA: I see. Miss Marsh, are you on comms? What is your ETA? JODY MARSH: It’s not good, Janine. We’re running with zombies right on our tail. Going to try and lose them before we rejoin you. JANINE DE LUCA: Understood. Tom and Miss Reid should be close behind us. I’ll reroute them to you. Chief Macallan, have your deputies peel off and escort Dr. Cohen’s people out of town. You, Five, and I will ensure anyone left in the area gets out. PAULA COHEN: Janine! DUNCAN MACALLAN: Look, by the harbor! That looks like Morag and about a dozen children. MORAG BROWN: I said get back! Behind me, children. Keep your eyes down, or there’ll be no boiled sweets for anyone. SAM YAO: Is she… is she fighting off a bunch of zombies with a frying pan? JANINE DE LUCA: Move out now, Dr. Cohen. We will save Morag. No arguing! Every second risks more lives. To the harbor, Five, Chief. Run! growl SAM YAO: Morag’s just ahead of you, Five, by the jetty. There’s a dozen zoms surrounding her and the kids. MORAG BROWN: Eyes down, children. Don’t look at the monsters! Come on then, you demons! Who’s next for a crack on the head? JANINE DE LUCA: Weapons up, Five, Chief. Protect those children! Attack! splatter Aim for the heads, Chief Macallan! Five, stop that zombie from biting Miss Brown! That’s all of them, I think. Good swipe with that spade, Five. Miss Brown. MORAG BROWN: Janine, I see your plan is going well. SAM YAO: Janine, Tom and Shona just arrived with Jody’s archers behind them. We’re trying to carve you an exit through the horde. Shona’s got her people performing mini McShells in the streets, trying to break up the horde. Jody’s got her archers on a hotel roof, and Tom’s still got that claymore. JANINE DE LUCA: Good. When the time is right, we will send the children out. But simple retreat is not an option for us. The commotion here is the only thing distracting the zombies from following Dr. Cohen to the manor. MORAG BROWN: Oh yes? So it’s dying with honor for you? You’ll make a gallant last stand while the children and I flee? Well, I tell you what, Miss De Luca. I don’t care who you are. I won’t stand for another bloody person dying today! JANINE DE LUCA: Miss Brown, I already have a scheme in mind. Death is never my priority. Mr. Yao, how surrounded are we? SAM YAO: Um, every zombie on the island is converging on the town. JANINE DE LUCA: Excellent. Miss Brown, this town has been yours for generations. It has cared for you, and you have cared for it. You even kept your homes powered after Z-day. Your radios, your appliances. Your gas cookers. Five, do you see that street? The blue and gray houses? We are going to run it end to end, entering every house. Turn on every hair dryer, every hoover, every blender, alarm clock you can find. Anything that makes sound. And most importantly, the gas ovens. Close windows and doors as you go. Chief, protect Miss Brown and the children. Get them out of town. Mr. Yao, tell our forces to ensure they escape. Five and I will rendezvous with our people at the hill overlooking the town when that street is full of noise. Five, if we do this right, we live. If not, we die. Run. Now! drone of electronic noise DUNCAN MACALLAN: There they are, coming up from town. JODY MARSH: Janine, Five, we’ve been waiting ages! My God, Janine, you look terrible! JANINE DE LUCA: And I thought I was the tactless one, Miss Marsh. laughs DUNCAN MACALLAN: We sent Morag up to the manor with the children and a couple of archers, Colonel. SAM YAO: That’s everyone out of the town, Janine. Well, except for the zoms. The whole horde is concentrating around that one street. The noise from the appliances is drawing them in. JANINE DE LUCA: Miss Marsh, I liberated matches, rags, and liquor from a local store. If you would wrap this doused rag around an arrow, light it, and shoot it through the window of that blue house. DUNCAN MACALLAN: Gas cookers… y-you’re going to blow up the street? My house is there. Mine and Phyllis’s. Everything I’ve got left of her. JANINE DE LUCA: I’m sorry, Chief, but there’s no alternative. The blast will engulf the zombies. Miss Marsh. lights, arrow flame crackles, bow string stretches, glass window shatters JODY MARSH: Bang on target! explosion SAM YAO: My God. The whole house went up like a big tinderbox. Well, those flames will set off - explosions DUNCAN MACALLAN: Gone. The whole street. Ach, well. Phyllis always said I cared too much for things. You got rid of the zoms, that’s what matters. Every one of them’s blasted apart or burning. SHONA: But our homes. Our town! JANINE DE LUCA: Not finished yet. Everyone, with me. With Shona and her volunteers, we can put out the blaze before it spreads. We need to reach the fire engine and turn it on the flames. It’s in the middle of town. Quickly, run! growl, fire crackles, fire hose water rushes JANINE DE LUCA: That’s it, Five. Turn the fire hose on the burning buildings. SHONA: Tom’s formed my people into a bucket line to the harbor. We’re getting the blaze under control. SAM YAO: There’s still a few flaming zoms about. Jody and the chief are hunting them down. A few people are trying to get into burning homes to get valuables out. Oh, it looks like bedlam down there! JANINE DE LUCA: The fire will be contained. Much of the town will be saved. I need to sit down a moment, Five. SAM YAO: Janine, are you all right? JANINE DE LUCA: Quite fine, Mr. Yao. Can’t quite move my legs, Five. It’s somewhat fuzzy, too. It was rather a busy day. Death with honor has its appeal, Five, but saving lives is victory. More than ever after Miss Maxted. PAULA COHEN: Janine? Janine, are you there? I’m at the laird’s house. I was housing some of the townspeople in Shona’s room. There’s a ham radio in here. It just started picking up a signal on a loop. Listen. LACHLAN JONES: Shona, I know you’ll listen. Please meet me at the old hangout. I’ll be there until 3:00 PM. They’ll all be busy. We can talk. I can’t keep doing this much longer. SHONA: I know what he’s talking about. There’s a cave near the south cliffs. We used to play there as kids. SAM YAO: It must be a trap. He’s – he’s trying to lure us there. SHONA: If it is a trap, it’s only for me. How would he have known that you’d hear it? JANINE DE LUCA: True. He will not expect anyone but you today. Five, this is our chance to apprehend Jones. We cannot let him strike again, not after this. And it is crucial that we find the Edda. I’ve… not wanted to alarm you, but my most recent dispatch from the mainland revealed that circles of red fungus are growing in the Bay of Five Arches, near Exmoor. This is the precise circumstance the Edda envisages. We must know its advice on preventing the spread of the fungus. The missing segment may hold information vital to the survival of the entire United Kingdom. Accompany Miss Reid. Catch Jones! SHONA: No. Five, you stay here with Janine. Jones won’t hurt me. JANINE DE LUCA: Don’t be absurd! You can’t confront a madman alone. Five will go with you. SAM YAO: Jones sounds desperate and afraid. Maybe we can talk to him together. I’ll meet you there, Shona. SHONA: All right. It’s best to go in a group, I suppose. Come on, it’s this way. To the cliffs, run! SAM YAO: I feel like we’re a long way into this cave, Five. Oh man, those stalactites look creepily like teeth. Look, what I don’t get is why did Jones reach out to you, Shona, after what happened to your uncle? SHONA: We grew up together. I guess he thinks that still means something. He was older than me, but not much. People were shy of him, said he was strange, but they were shy of me, too, because of my father. I guess we were both outsiders, in a way. We used to go places we shouldn’t. People said these caves were haunted, so we’d meet here to tell ghost stories. We’d sit in the spot just up ahead. I didn’t realize how dangerous he was until my uncle. After today… God help me, I was so naive! LACHLAN JONES: Please, Shona, it’s not how it seems. SAM YAO: Five, behind those rocks, it’s Jones! LACHLAN JONES: I knew you wouldn’t come alone. That’s okay. Don’t run, Sam, Five. This rifle’s loaded. Please, we have to talk, all of us. Nothing is what it seems. You all need to know what’s really happening on this island. Category:Mission Category:Season Eight